What is love?

The anthropologist Katherine Bateson, in her book Composing a Further Life, The age of Active Wisdom, documents the impact of our increased life spans.

Rather than more years of infirmity at the end of life, we now have the possibility of an “Adulthood II” – added years of healthy and “active wisdom”.

This is a period when we no longer concerned with child raising or career success — a time when we are free, maybe for the first time, to pursue a life we truly love.

Love in later life

 

I’ve had the luxury of spending six weeks in Florida this winter – designing my life mostly around relaxation and activities that contribute to recovering full health. I also got to spend time talking with the clients that I so enjoy working with.

This has been an amazing time. I have enjoyed yoga, swimming, walking, biking, socializing and fellowship that is available in Punta Gorda, the town in Florida that we are now part of.

My husband Marc came down for the first and last 10 days, and one weekend in the middle.

After being on my own for several weeks, I wondered how being in a couple would be again. I hadn’t had the experience of having my time all to myself in several years and I was enjoying the freedom.

I am happy to report that having Marc with me only enhanced all of the joy I was feeling. Just being with him is reassuring and loving. I found that what “I want to do” is gloriously expanded by combining that with what he wants to do. We had great time in ways that I can’t have on my own.

For example, we spent a day with Sam, Marc’s best buddy from Vietnam, and his wife Mary. Sam lived with Marc for a year on an Air Force base in the middle of the jungle. They formed a lifelong bond from caring for each other in challenging circumstances.

I was privileged to witness the loving relationships that Marc brings into his life, even in the most difficult of circumstances. Being married to Marc allows me to experience being someone who is “beloved”.

I had to do work to “upgrade” my original programming around love to arrive at my new adult experience of love. To do this I worked with a world class coach, Katherine Woodward Thomas, author of the New York Times bestseller, Calling in the One.

I learned how childhood decisions we make about our experiences can form beliefs that do not lead to healthy love in adult life.<

For example, I decided at age 8, after watching parents fight too often, that “I am on my own”. And while I successfully crafted a life of self-reliance, this belief did not serve my desire to call in the kind of healthy supportive love that I needed.

The Calling in the One process supported the transformational shift that was needed to break this pattern.

I am now a certified and experienced Calling in the One Coach. I get great joy from helping my clients call in new partners in ways that are deeply satisfying.

I am also certified as a Conscious Uncoupling Coach and support people to end unrewarding relationships in dignified ways that allow for respect and growth.

My fellow leadership consultant, Avivah Wittenberg Cox has just written a book entitled Late Love – Mating in Maturity.She says that there is “an explosion of ‘grey’ divorce and remarriage in the over-50s. With children departing into their own journeys and ever-longer lives stretching out ahead, more mature adults are leaping, unconventionally and aspirationally, at a last chance at love.”

I want you to know that there is an evidence-based process for moving through and completing the outdated patterns that are preventing you from having happy healthy love.

We all deserve to have love in our lives. It is our birthright. I know this deeply, and am committed to supporting others to find it, first in themselves, and then in their relationships.

If you, or someone you know, is experiencing repetitive patterns that have made satisfying love an endless quest, please contact me for a free consultation to see if this process is something that would work for you.

Please be in touch if you would like to experience healthy happy love in your life.

Always,
Joan

Landslide

I took my love, I took it down
Climbed a mountain and I turned around
And I saw my reflection in the snow covered hills
‘Til the landslide brought it down
Oh, mirror in the sky
What is love?
Can the child within my heart rise above?
Can I sail through the changin’ ocean tides?
Can I handle the seasons of my life?
Well, I’ve been afraid of changin’
‘Cause I’ve built my life around you
But time makes you bolder
Even children get older
And I’m getting older, too
Oh, I’m getting older, too
Oh if you climb a mountain and turned around
And If you see my reflection in the snow covered hills

Well the landslide will bring you down
And If you see my reflection in the snow covered hills
Well the landslide will bring you down
Oh, the landslide will bring it down

Fleetwood Mac

Get past all obstacles to finding the relationship of your dreams.

GET YOUR FREE COPY!

Download my book: Never Too Late for Love:
The Successful Woman’s Guide to Online Dating in The Second Half of Life