There's so much to absorb about what is happening now. It is heartening that so many in the world are standing up to support the Black Lives Matter movement. My best friend Lorraine, who is now 75-years-old, went downtown Boston to join the demonstrations...
This Sunday I can say that I am very glad to be sheltered in place with Marc. I do feel sheltered, and cared for, and safe. I know he will do anything to ensure our safety.
If you know my story, you know that I am not in a 30+ year marriage.
Marc and I have been together for six years – since I was sixty.
We have been married for four years.
We bought our place in Florida shortly after we were married.
“Good-looking guys come a dime a dozen / Try to find you one who’s gonna give you true lovin’ / Before you take a man and say I do, now / Make sure he’s in love with you, now / My mama told me / You better shop around / You better shop around …”
– From “Shop Around” version recorded by Captain & Tennille
I’ve done some of the research to answer this question, and learned a lot from my own and other women’s experience. But I thought I’d go right to the horses mouth, so to speak…
I’m reading a book by a 74 year-old physician who started online dating after his wife’s passing.
Below, in his words, is what he observed about his own maturing outlook to attraction.
I was thinking of you, because it’s Sunday. And Sunday was sometimes not an easy day for me when I was living alone. I had to make a point to plan an activity with other people to get myself out of the house.
Now Sundays are easier. Marc and I went to a yoga class together. (Yes he takes yoga, one of two men in a class of thirty people.)
The end of the year is a time when some of us reflect on our lives, where we’ve come and what we are intending for the new year.
1. What are you grateful for, or proud of in 2019?
2. What are you intending for 2020?
I spoke today with a friend, age 66, who just got engaged to a man who is the love of her life. We talked about the book I’m writing – Finding Lasting Love in Your Sixties.
She said she never thought she would find a man online who would be her match.
“I’m kind of different. I’m more Birkenstock and veggies than heels and martinis.”
It was always about relationships…
I have been pondering how to explain my new emphasis on Relational Coaching and its link to to my Leadership work.
I think I’ve found a way…
My client, Angela (not her real name), contacted me when she was faced with a terrible dilemma:
She and her husband were considering divorce. They had a two-year-old daughter whom they both adored and were afraid of hurting in any way.
My client, a 68 year-old professional woman, has spent her entire adult life without a committed intimate relationship. For 50 years Beth (nor her real name) has dated men, but no relationship lasted longer than six months.
It has been a year of great changes -some positive, some extremely difficult.
As we move into these final days of the year, in the relative quiet after the holiday rush, taking a few moments to slow down and reflect can bring meaning to our year.
Reflection provides the opportunity to learn and to make sense of our experiences.
The anthropologist Katherine Bateson, in her book Composing a Further Life, The age of Active Wisdom, documents the impact of our increased life spans.
Rather than more years of infirmity at the end of life, we now have the possibility of an “Adulthood II” – added years of healthy and “active wisdom”.
I was in my late fifties when my marriage ended. This signaled not only the end of an important relationship, but also the end of an era in my life. I started to doubt that at my age I’d ever find love again. I worried that I would end up lonely in my old age. (According to AARP, a third of people in our age group report being “chronically lonely”!)
As awkward as it is to say, I wish I could tell you that this was my first divorce, but it wasn’t. As much as we all love the idea of living happily ever after, many of us will have 2-3 intimate relationships over the course of a lifetime.
When I was a kid I saw our male cat returning, after several days of exploring, to see four tiny kittens on newspaper on our kitchen floor. He took one astonished look, bolted for the door, and never came back.
I know it isn’t easy.
July will mark ten years since my plane crash in 2007.
I will be speaking on June 16th in Weston at a Life Planning Network event-Sharing the lessons I have learned creating sustainable health practices.
Below is an excerpt from my book, Leading for Results, about this experience.
“We’re imperfect and wired for struggle, but worthy of love and connection.” -Brene Brown
“Transitions” Are you in the middle of one now?
Are you facing a career or a relationship change?
Are you working on redefining your “purpose” and what gives meaning in your life?
Break my arm, not my heart!
Ending a primary intimate relationship can be difficult (and embarrassing) no matter what age you are. I learned this when I was 29 years old and my marriage, with two young children, ended. It was not what I had dreamed of, and I was devastated by the loss.
It is never to late for love!
In today’s world, most people will have more than one primary relationship. Moving through these transitions, and getting the love and support we need, is key to our health and happiness.
Today I was talking with a client who is in a transition from full-time parenting to…work outside of the home.
(In my opinion the work done to build a home and raise a family is the hardest work of all.)
My client is going through the process of identifying the values that compelled her to stay home to care for her three grade school children, in the face of the strong social pressures to continue working in her career in the health field.
January was a roller-coaster ride of ups and downs, hopes, fears, and failed expectations, as the people of the world grappled with the pronouncements of a new government.
In the midst of that my granddaughters were born on January 12th.
Let’s move Past the Blocks Keeping You
From the Intimate Supportive
Relationship You Desire
Through our most recent coaching sessions, I started to realize that my thoughts are creating my world and the life that I am living in. The statement that we created in the last session together 'I am at peace and others love me exactly the way I am' is very powerful. I started to become aware of how often I am telling myself that others would not like me for who I am and I have to do more or be better so that others will love me. Only after I quiet down that inner voice, I am at peace with myself and others, and I can truly experience life.
Thank you very much for your coaching, Joan, as always!
Calling in “The One”™
Joan’s coaching made a huge difference in becoming more aware of myself and how I approached relationships. I am learning that when dating I don’t have to do all of the work. If a man really likes me he will make the appropriate moves towards me.
Senior Scientist looking for love
Working with Joan helped me get clear about what I wanted in a relationship. She really helped me to focus and get present to what I want and deserve in a partnership.
Recently divorced mother of a teenage son.
Get past all obstacles to finding the relationship of your dreams.
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Download my book: Never Too Late for Love:
The Successful Woman’s Guide to Online Dating in The Second Half of Life