I was in my late fifties when my marriage ended. This signaled not only the end of an important relationship, but also the end of an era in my life. I started to doubt that at my age I’d ever find love again. I worried that I would end up lonely in my old age. (According to AARP, a third of people in our age group report being “chronically lonely”!)
As awkward as it is to say, I wish I could tell you that this was my first divorce, but it wasn’t. As much as we all love the idea of living happily ever after, many of us will have 2-3 intimate relationships over the course of a lifetime.
I needed support to heal. I was feeling lonely – it was hard to imagine I could find a great love in my life at this age. I picked up the phone and called the best coach I knew. I knew I needed someone who was masterful in this area. I chose Katherine Woodward Thomas, the author of two N.Y. Times Bestsellers, Conscious Uncoupling, and Calling in the One.
In this coaching work I discovered that I had spent my whole life over-giving. (Katherine calls this “pathological generosity” – yikes!) I usually played the role of making sure that my partner’s lives were working out. I often felt more like a caretaker than a cherished and cared-for woman. I never fully trusted that the man I was with would put my needs as a priority.
I was able to uncover the old decisions and patterns that made these behaviors persist. I was able to “upgrade” these decisions – to hold deeply in my being the truth that I am worthy of being cherished and cared for.
Even then, the prospect of dating men online was daunting. Under the guidance of my coach I took risks. I learned how to write a “magnetic” online profile. And even though it was challenging to go out with 40 men in the next two years, it was extraordinary that so many men wanted to go out with me.
I needed support to do this over two years. My coach helped me to not settle for less. I learned how to hold out for the right man. Together we stood for the possibility that I would meet the great love of my life — even though there was little evidence at first that he was out there!
I set an intention that by my 60th birthday I would bring a caring self-confident man into my life. I wrote in my online profile that I wanted someone who was “proud of his accomplishments in work and family” (as I was).
While dating I learned how to have my choices reflect a deeper truth – that I am worthy of a loving marriage with a deeply supportive and caring man.
I had only been dating Marc for six weeks when I invited him to come to my 60th birthday party. His willingness and ability to be with all of my friends and family in a loving way – and a million other gestures – won my heart.
We married two years later when I was sixty-two. Our seven grown children and our siblings were witnesses. It was a truly moving and touching wedding on the beach on Cape Cod. (photos attached!)
I no longer need to use over-caretaking behaviors because my new husband is an incredibly kind and competent man. We care for each other and we are on a great adventure as we enter our “golden years” together.
Katherine Woodward Thomas changed my life so much that I was inspired to learn the “Conscious Uncoupling”TM and “Calling in the One”TM&coaching programs, and add these to my coaching practice.
I have been working with Katherine the past few years to become deeply imbued in this transformational way of coaching.This work changed my life so much that I want to share the joy I have received with others.
I will stand with you as I “pass this miracle forward” to support you to learn how to overcome the patterns and behaviors that are not getting you the love and support you deserve to have in your life.
I have learned the incredible value of working with a coach, over time to break through old patterns and habits. My coach believed in me when I didn’t believe in myself. She encouraged me to only date men who were worthy of me – to find a man who was committed to his own growth and development. And I found him – because I got support to graduate beyond old painful patterns.
NOW I CAN create health and wellbeing in ALL OF my relationships.
I believe that the “Conscious Uncoupling” and “Calling in the One” programs “crack the nut” of identifying and changing the repetitive relationship patterns that prevent us from having happy healthy mutually loving relationship.
My coaching supports people to begin to live from a deeper truth: That no matter how old we are, or how many difficult experiences in love we have had – We are worthy and capable of finding love!
Get past all obstacles to finding the relationship of your dreams.
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Download my book: Never Too Late for Love:
The Successful Woman’s Guide to Online Dating in The Second Half of Life