This Sunday I can say that I am very glad to be sheltered in place with Marc. I do feel sheltered, and cared for, and safe. I know he will do anything to ensure our safety.
If you know my story, you know that I am not in a 30+ year marriage.
Marc and I have been together for six years – since I was sixty.
We have been married for four years.
We bought our place in Florida shortly after we were married.
It wasn’t easy to find Marc. I couldn’t tell from his highly creative profile whether he was a match for me. Nevertheless I persisted, because I had promised my dear coach Katherine, that I would “call him in” by my sixtieth birthday.
So I keep meeting new men. I kept going on Match.com and one day I had coffee with Marc.
That was the end of my relationship with Match.
Hinge, the dating app for singles under forty, has a slogan:
“The Dating App designed to be deleted.”
We all want that. We all want to get past dating. Really.
The problem is that the only way out is through.
Most people need to meet a number of people before they find someone who is compatible (and crazy about you!)
This takes both stamina and support. It’s not easy.
DATING in the new age.
Now, we know, that not only are we all interconnected, but also, that it is best for us not to get near anyone. What is that going to do for dating?
Market research is showing that dating is still an urgent and emergent need in this crisis.
None of the online dating sites are shut down. In fact, having access to other singles, who may also be home alone, is a real feature of these sites.
I’m learning from my clients how the search for love is going in the Age of Corona.
One client, age 72, had been dating a lovely man for several months.
They decided it was ok if they met in quarantine, since they had been together so much.
Meeting turned into staying overnight at her house (in the guest room – they still haven’t crossed that line, yet). They are enjoying spending so much time together!
Another client, age 68, decided to shelter in place with her new beau (not in the guest room!) They have both met each other’s kids, have really similar values, and are very kind people.
They are enjoying newly found domestic pleasures.
A third client, age 40, who has been on online dating sites for awhile, is making a new commitment, to reach out to other singles and to conduct Zoom conversations to get to know them.
Finally, a dear friend, age 37, is letting me support her to post a new profile on a dating site. She’s sheltered alone, having ended a serious relationship in the past year.
She’s starting to know that she really needs to reach out, to find love again.
She posted a profile that at the end says,
“Happy to meet on Zoom, and also to take a Starbucks takeout walk!”
How’s that for adapting to the new realities?
If not for loneliness there wouldn’t be love.
I don’t think that human love and the need for connection will ever be diminished by any natural or man made disaster.
In fact, I think a period like this makes us that much more aware of our feelings, and our need for strong connections with others. It is calling the question,
“Do we want to be in a loving committed relationship with one other person?”
I believe that we are a tribal and a pair-bonded species, and that Life is with people.
Modern life has made it possible for both women and men to live alone.
We’ve moved from nuclear families to “atomic” ones.
But in this crisis too many are finding that 24 hours alone is too much.
That’s why solitary confinement is the worst punishment of all!
So, please don’t give up on love, even in this most difficult period.
Love is what we came here for. To love, and to be loved.
Reach out to those you love and stay connected.
That is the only sense of security we have in this greatly insecure world.
We can have the peace that comes from within our hearts, and within our homes.
Get past all obstacles to finding the relationship of your dreams.
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Download my book: Never Too Late for Love:
The Successful Woman’s Guide to Online Dating in The Second Half of Life